Potty Training

I've been thinking lately, and I've decided there's at least one more course that should be added to our school curriculum. How To Use The Toilet 101. Apparently this is a serious problem for the patrons of fast food. It is absolutely ridiculous the number of times I go to the bathroom and have to wipe pee off the women's toilet seat. This actually happened to me twice today alone. What I want to really know is, how do you miss??? YOU HAVE TO SIT DOWN TO PEE. Or maybe that's just the way I was raised? I'm pretty sure if you're a girl, you should have your butt on the toilet seat.

 I suppose there are the people that try to hover (f*ck that, I'll sit my big butt down), because heaven forbid you sit on a public toilet seat. If that's the case, HOLD IT 'TIL YOU GET HOME. Or you can always wipe the toilet seat down first... We do have toilet paper right next to the toilet. And anyways, the seat is probably cleaner (unless of course there's piss/shit on it) than most of the other stuff in the bathroom, i.e.- sink handle, toilet seat handle, door handle...


However, I can't blame 100% of the mess on women. I know for a fact that there are some men who use the women's restroom because it's cleaner. DAMN STRAIGHT IT'S CLEANER. LEAVE IT THAT WAY!

^I really wish we could hang up a sign like this.

Another thing I've noticed is that there are a surprising amount of people who don't wash their hands.


I was standing in the hall, waiting for the restroom the other day. I didn't think I would have to wait long because right before I knocked I heard our squeaky toilet paper holder, so I didn't bother knocking. A few seconds later, the toilet flushed. As I'm standing there wondering how much longer she'll be, the door opens. She walks out and our eyes meet. Talk about awkward. We both looked away, her probably because she was ashamed that she got caught not washing her hands, and I so I didn't give her a disgusted look and get in trouble.


Don't you know how unhealthy that can be?! Also, how lazy can you be?? It's not like it's a hard thing to do... Takes about 20 seconds (if you do it right) and probably another 20 seconds to dry them (depending on the dryer). You'll appreciate it one day when you realized you don't have to make as many doctors' visits because you don't have any illnesses that you got because you ate food after not wiping.